It's been a while since I last posted something on here. I've had somewhat of a hectic month, I've spent almost all of my time working on Second Solace and I've made some real progress with it. But in this last month I've moved across the country and split up with my girlfriend. It's been a real change to my life, and it is one that I am both afraid by, and excited about.
I wanted to sit down and write something, and I think the reason I have finally decided to is not because I feel like it is the right thing, but because I decided to do this blog for me and about the things that I would want to read about. So whilst I won't mention the details on my break up, I will say that honestly, I'm ok.
I've been thinking a lot about the future recently, I guess it makes sense as my life has changed so much recently. I said I was scared by the changes, and I would say that that is because right now, I have no idea what the future holds for me. Once the 19th of September roles around I will be officially done with my Masters, and whilst I plan to continue working on Second Solace until I feel it is of a sellable standard, I will no longer be able to put all my time into it.
I have always said that to be happy, I need to have at least 2 of my 3 key pillars of life. They are 1- Where I am living, 2 - Who I am living with, and 3 - What I am doing. Whilst I was in Manchester I had my girlfriend, my flat and my masters, so all in all I was happy. But now for the most part I have none of these things. Sure I'm living at my old house, but living independently is a hard thing to give up once you have it.
So it has been this thought, more than the breakup, that has weighed on my mind. Looking back at the relationship, I can see where there were problems, and I have resolved things in that aspect. But being in Manchester always felt like the logical step forward, it is a societal hub, a place where an aspiring writer/artist can find his place. But Scarborough hasn't got that excitement to it.
One of the things I've been thinking about so much recently is what I will do, I've had it with silly student jobs where I feel like I'm going nowhere, and I get that jobs these days are hard to come by, but it would be foolish of me to give up hope before I've started. So I've been trying to come up with a plan. Firstly, I would like to move out, preferably to York as I don't see the need to get a flat in the same town that I could live for cheaper with family. I think if I decide to move it would be by myself, living with friends was fun, but it really put a strain on the friendship at times, and going back to friends after living with a partner would feel like a step back that I don't want to take. And in all honesty I think I have the type of personality that could live alone.
For a job, I've been looking into apprenticeships, whilst they pay less they do offer more opportunities to shine. Although I doubt I could afford a flat off the salary of an apprentice.
So there are a few things to work out, but that will come with time.
I'm sorry that to every one of you that stumbles across this for the topic of bloggery. But like I said before, this is my blog, and sometimes you've just got to write about what is on your mind, even if it isn't an interesting subject to most people.
I'm still working hard on Second Solace, but I'll try and find the time to be a little more regular on this.
Anyway, farewell for now
:)
